• Michelle

Well Hello there!

So it has been far too long since my last post so I thought I would update the world with the update on me.

I got to say I have been pretty pissed off with my hair. It more or less grew back, all but a tiny patch, in March last year (pre bloody covid) and now I've lost half my head again.

Don't get me wrong - I am extremely grateful for the hair I do have, its grown long (where I have hair) which is great as it does make me feel a little like the old me again. But - Im so sick of feeding myself good shit, vitamins, not eating wheat (to be fair that gives me a rash) exercising, eating well blah blah blah. I've even been diagnosed with an underachieve thyroid and taking tablets to treat that thinking, oooo that's why my hair fell out, but no, it still continues to fall out. So yeah, I'm pretty pissed off with my hair. I know I need to learn to deal with it - I see women with bald heads embracing it and those with really thin hair wearing wigs and toppers and telling everyone to live with it and "once you except it, you will be happy" but I say ballocks to that. Im sorry but I will NEVER deal with having no hair! Im sure those people who say they have learnt to live with it still have shit days. Its not normal to have no hair and its certainly not normal for your hair to grow and then fall out and then grow and then fucking fall out again! Its basterd torture!

So this is from the front, looks ok hey? But don't let it fool you because at the back and under this very thin covering of hair, is a balding spiky scalp, itchy with sleeping hair folicles.

What I don't get with my hair, is why it grows back and then falls out again? If alopecia is an auto immune disease, why does it not just all fall out - why does it grow back?

I find the cycle of growth and fall out, an evil type of torture that torments me every single day. At night I sit with my hand under my hair on my bald patch feeling it to see if there's any hair growing, hoping that it is growing back, hoping it is going fuzzy, because fuzz means growth. Why has no more research been done into this disease? Why is it classed as cosmetic?

I really don't know how to feel anymore, but pissed off lol. I just want my hair back.

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